The comments that Ms. Scott provided were very helpful. First of all they assured me that I was on the right track, which was a relief. They also brought to light some things that I hadn't thought of and that my peers have not commented on yet. They include....
1) The connotation of the word service-learning. When I referred to service-learning I meant to refer to service as a whole, not just in the classroom. Ms. Scott told me to use a broader term known as "servant leadership". I also have to work on actually defining and specifically stating my definition of service for this particular essay.
2) The generalization of my essay. After reading the comments I realized that my arguments were based on broad concepts and not on specific examples from the community. I think I need to work on taking specific instances to make my arguments stronger.
3) That my introduction and conclusions were sort of contradictory. I did not mean to establish a point of community and continue on to discuss the importance of one leader. I meant to describe the derivation of many leaders out of one community. I need to further explain this, again, with more examples.
Ultimately, I think I need to work on taking specific issues to support my arguments instead of basing them on broad generalizations.
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